


Just Do It!!

by Babybucky1943



Series: What Do You Meme? [1]
Category: Marvel
Genre: Gen, eating of non food items, meme-inspired, the Asset and his eyeliner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:47:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24411547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Babybucky1943/pseuds/Babybucky1943
Summary: The Asset has to regain his cognitive abilities after a mind wipeThis meme: the person who wrote it is a genius 😂Thought of the day: the Asset after his mind wipes has to go through various cognitive developments save for the programmed weapon/fighting knowledge.Does this mean the Asset will also go through the “why?” stage?Jack: Soldier you cant eat the war paintThe Asset (mouth full): why?Jack: because it’ll make you sickThe Asset (licking more out of the tin): why?Brock: because he fucking told you to. Put down the paint soldat.The Asset: why?
Series: What Do You Meme? [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1809061
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	Just Do It!!

Rumlow gritted his teeth, feeling the tension in his neck. This damn mission was going to be ridiculous. He knew the Asset had been wiped in the last few days. It always took him a bit to get back up to full cognitive capacity. It was annoying but usually he could handle it. He really hoped the soldier would be at top functioning speed today. He was already stressed. What the hell was Pierce thinking? He slammed the mission file onto the table in the locker room. 

“Jack! Where’s the Asset??”

“Over here,” Jack called from the other side of the bank of lockers. “Here.” He said to the soldier. “Get dressed.”

“Why?” Came the question. 

Rumlow chewed his tongue. Great. Just fucking GREAT! The Asset was very much NOT up to snuff! 

“Just do it!” Jack said firmly. “We have a mission.”

“Why?” The soldier asked, stepping into his pants. 

“Has he been like this all day?” Rumlow asked. 

Jack rolled his eyes. “Well, we went through the “no” phase this morning.”

Rollins mimicked the soldier’s big eyes. 

“Drink your shake!”

“No.”

“Give me your cup.”

“No.”

“Stop being a fucking brat!”

“No.”

He sighed. “I hate these days shortly after wipes.”

“Me too,” Rumlow agreed. “Like a fucking toddler! ‘No! Why? Mine!’ Not a friggin babysitter!” he mumbled. He looked at the soldier. “What is he doing??”

The Asset was rummaging in his locker and then straightened up.

“Oh for fuck sakes!” Jack growled. “Put that down.” 

“Why?” The Asset asked.He was holding his tin of eyeblack and licking it with gusto.

Rumlow looked at him in disbelief. “What the hell is he doing now?!” 

Jack threw up his hands. “Hell if I know!! You know how he gets!!”

Rumlow ground his teeth together. “You’d think Pierce could’ve designed the damn chair to let him retain something other than how to shoot a fucking gun!! Please please tell me he’s already done his “mine” phase. I can’t deal with that today.”

Jack shushed him loudly. “It hasn’t come up. I’m hoping we can skip that one!”

He turned back to the Asset. “Put it DOWN!”

“Why?” The soldier asked again, tentatively licking at the contents of the tin.”

“Because it’s not food!” Jack tried, keeping his voice relatively calm. He held his hand out. “Give it!”

The soldier slowly gave him the tin. “Why?”

Rumlow made a wounded sound. “Aw shit!!! We are never gonna get outta here at this rate!” 

The soldier looked at Jack then at the commander. “Why?”    
  


“Because you’re not listening this morning,” Jack answered. 

“War paint goes on your eyes, not your mouth!” Rumlow groused, trying to move things forward. Time was ticking!! He glanced at his watch impatiently “Hurry up!”

The soldier cocked his head to one side curiously and looked at the commander now. “Why?”

Rumlow drew in a long suffering sigh. “Because.”

After a slight pause. “Because why?”

Rumlow slapped his forehead. “Get him cleaned up.” He was going to punch the frickin lockers if he didn’t walk away. Technically he knew the soldier didn’t understand but DAMN! It was annoying!! “I’m getting his gear.”

Jack grabbed a handful of paper towel. “Spit it out.”

The Asset slowly stuck his tongue out, liberally coated in black. “Why?” 

Jack wiped ineffectively at the thick layer of war paint on his tongue. “Good thing you don’t get sick. What the hell goes through your head??”

The Asset allowed his face to be cleaned and reached for the tin again. 

Jack shook his head, grabbing it and putting it in his pocket. “You are impossible.” 

“Why?”

Rumlow was just coming back with the mission file and the soldier’s rifle. He made an indignant sound. “Stop asking why!!”

........”Why?” 

Rumlow screamed into his arm. “I’ve had it! Dammit!! Soldat!! Stop!!”

“Why?” Came the quick question. 

“Because I told you to!!” Rumlow burst out, his face going a deep red from the effort of keeping his temper down to just yelling. 

There was a long pause. 

Rumlow took a hesitant breath. Finally-

The soldier frowned in thought. “Why?” 

Rumlow sank down to the floor, not sure wether to laugh or cry. 

The Asset took the gun from him. “Mine.”

Rumlow’s head hit the floor with a gentle thud while Jack rolled his eyes. “Shit.”


End file.
